Stargazer: Dr. Michael Penn
When you’re feeling worried, what gives you hope? As a kid, when Michael Penn faced tough times, his mother encouraged him to trust in God and to keep praying. For a while, his family lived in an old school bus that was made into a house. Then they moved from North Carolina to New York in the U.S., where they faced poverty and violence, but were able to cope with help from a close-knit community.
Michael says that humility and truthfulness are two important virtues in his work.
In his early twenties, Michael got very sick and almost died. Afterward, he was inspired to explore many religions. He soon realized, “I am a Bahá’í.” Michael says that the Bahá’í Faith has taught him the beauty of helping others.
He put that virtue into practice, earning a doctorate in clinical psychology from Temple University. He now teaches at Franklin & Marshall College in Pennsylvania and has traveled to about 50 countries, speaking about topics like hope, resilience, and equality. He and his wife, Kathy, live in Pennsylvania.
Q: What’s your favorite childhood memory?
Going to the Coney Island amusement park . . . we had hotdogs, we had the great ocean, we had the sea breeze, we had sand to play in, and we had rides of all kinds ...
Q: What was the most challenging experience for you as a kid?
[It] was the embarrassment, the shame that I felt at being poor ... To get food from the city, I had to wait on a line that sometimes went many blocks. And because we had to help carry the food home, I would have to wait on line while my classmates passed, going to school ... I was humiliated by that ... I sort of ... hid from myself and others.
Q: What got you interested in psychology?
In college ... I went to a lecture ... by a psychologist ...That lecture was so electrifying, was so profound that when he finished ... in a hall of about 300 people, no one breathed a word, no one moved ... I said to myself, this is astounding. Whatever this person does, that's what I want to do ... I didn't even know what a clinical psychologist was, but I said ... that's what I would like to become, because I liked the kinds of things he was talking about. I liked the ways that he was saying them. I loved the breadth of his knowledge.
In 2017, the United Nations invited Michael to speak to UN program directors about how to be more effective leaders.
Q: What are some important things for a happy family life?
Families [should] talk to one another with kindness ... use their words carefully ... The human heart is very delicate, very sensitive—it's strong, but it's also delicate ... I have learned in my own family, it's really, really valuable if the family has quiet time together ... It might start with saying a few words of prayer together and then ... sitting quietly and talking in a calm way about how everyone is doing ... We're not on our electronic devices ... We're really paying attention to one another ...
Michael and his wife, Kathy, were married in 1985, a few months after meeting at a Bahá’í gathering.
Q: What should a kid do if they or someone they know is dealing with conflict or violence in their family?
Lots of families experience periods where there is conflict. So just because there is conflict doesn’t mean that children should be too worried ... But if the conflict becomes violent ... so intense that it's frightening or it’s dangerous or that it’s all the time, then the child should share that with someone, should let someone know that in my house, I am a little bit worried about people hurting one another ... They could share that with an adult who they trust ... Because when there’s violence in a family, the effects of that violence can last a long time and hurt the mind and ... the body ... So we should not be quiet about that kind of problem.
Q: This issue of Brilliant Star is about family unity. What are three things kids can do to help build unity in their families?
Kids can ... be as courteous as they can be to their parents. It’s really difficult being a parent ... When they speak to their parents with respect ... their parents feel encouraged ... [Kids] can ... try to be helpful in the house ... And the third thing is not to pout or be angry for too long. There are lots of things that can make us upset in a family. But we should not hold on to those things too tightly ... We should be forgiving, both to ourselves and to others.
Q: If you had one wish for Brilliant Star's readers, what would it be?
My wish would be that all the Brilliant Star readers develop a true love for people of every race and every religion and every culture and every class and every city and every nation on the earth.
Portrait and UN photo by UN Leaders Programme photographer, city photo by cmart7327, art by C. Aaron Kreader, Kathy and Michael by Vanessa Rivera
Stargazers94 Discover552 African American36 Families78 Challenges257 Interviews115 Goals244 Careers214 Education58 Happiness90 Race Unity223 Race55