Learning to Share Your Faith Naturally

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No matter what religion you practice or profess, talking about your faith with others can sometimes be a sticky business. Some people aren’t comfortable discussing religion at all. Others are so determined to convert others to their beliefs that they won’t listen to any other views. For Bahá’ís, teaching people about Bahá’u’lláh’s vision for humanity without proselytizing is an important, but tricky, balancing act. How do you share the passion that fuels your faith without making others uncomfortable? How do you invite people to explore other viewpoints without being pushy? How do you cope when someone attacks or puts down beliefs that are close to your heart?

And most importantly, how do we, as parents, teach our children to address these questions?

Growing up as a Bahá’í, I remember how hard it was sometimes to discuss my faith. The area where I grew up was predominantly white and Protestant. Belonging to a religion filled with Middle Eastern names and a universal outlook was, to put it mildly, “weird.” I had some wonderful, open-minded Christian friends, but I was told by others more than once that I was destined to burn in hell. It didn’t matter that Bahá’ís believe in Christ and the Bible. My beliefs didn’t fit their specific view of what it meant to be Christian, and therefore, I was doomed to eternal damnation.

That’s a lot to take in as a kid. I didn’t believe it, but refuting that notion without becoming confrontational (which wasn’t in my nature anyway) was challenging. And dealing with feelings of rejection—especially the rejection of a faith that was so dear to me—was also difficult.

Recently, I found myself in the position of coaching my daughter through a similar experience with one of her close friends. It made me realize how far I’ve come in sharing my faith more naturally and letting people have their opinions without letting them upset me.

Here are some of the lessons I’ve learned about sharing my faith that I am now passing on to my kids:

Be open to faith-based conversations, especially with your friends. When you belong to a minority faith, it can be easy to feel nervous when people bring up religion. But a lot of that feeling can be mitigated by our attitude. As Bahá’í jazz singer Rachael Price said in a 2012 Brilliant Star interview, “The Faith is really cool. What is not awesome about it? That’s how I think about it, and so when people ask me, I just think how cool it is…and I want to tell them about it.” If you take that attitude about your faith, it’s a lot less daunting when someone brings up religion.

I was pretty amazed at how much my 12-year-old daughter talked about religion with her neighborhood friends. They had differing beliefs, and my daughter had to learn to navigate disagreements about certain aspects of religion. But she also learned how you can find common ground with just about anyone, and that even when you disagree, spiritual discussions are ultimately bonding. The conversation is the important thing.

Don’t be afraid to tell people what you believe. Everyone has beliefs about life, death, and our purpose in this world; in fact, that’s a large portion of who we are. Sharing beliefs is a natural part of sharing your thoughts, feelings, and interests with others. That’s really all “teaching” or sharing your faith is. When you think of it that way, teaching people about your faith becomes a natural part of everyday conversation. Simply put, sharing “you” with the world includes sharing what you believe. And that’s awesome. That’s real. It’s nothing to be afraid of.

In addition, sharing yourself with others—whether you’re sharing your beliefs, your questions, your joy, your talents, or your favorite flavor of ice cream—will help you connect with people’s hearts and create relationships that can deepen into true friendships. Connections are key. When you’re connected with others, sharing your faith usually comes naturally. It doesn’t have to be a chore, or something separate from normal life.

 

Let people have their opinions, and don’t take them personally. This one took me a while to really internalize. My faith is incredibly important to me, and it can be painful when people reject it or attack it. But I’ve learned that people hold onto their beliefs and opinions for a wide variety of reasons, very few of which have anything to do with me or my faith. I’ve learned to share my beliefs without expecting people to accept or embrace them. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. But I share them because they are real to me, because they make sense to me, and because I see the value in them. Others may not see those things, or they may take years to understand them. We all have our own journey, and we must respect others as they tread their spiritual path.

 

Listen and learn. It’s so easy to believe that we each have the right answers, the right beliefs, the “true” faith. But we all have a lot to learn from each other. As a Bahá’í, I believe that all of the world’s major religions come from one God. So I love it when people quote the Bible, or share the wisdom of the Buddha, or explain the pillars of Islam in their conversations with me. Each faith tradition has beautiful aspects we can incorporate into our own spiritual lives. I’ve learned to see each discussion about religion not only as a chance to share my own faith, but an opportunity to take spiritual lessons away as well.
 

These are the lessons I teach my children about sharing their faith. How do you approach sharing your faith as a family? Join the discussion on our Facebook group, the Brilliant Star Idea Exchange, or e-mail us at brilliant@usbnc.org.

 

Annie Reneau is a homeschooling mom of three, lover of chocolate and travel, and former assistant editor with Brilliant Star. She now works as associate editor at Upworthy/GOOD and shares her personal musings on life and parenting at Motherhood and More.

 

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Updated on 6.21.13