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Five Tips for Praying with Children
We all have a different experience and expectation about what “prayer” is. Children, on the other hand, are just learning about what prayer is and what it can mean to pray.
Prayer is an important part of many faith traditions. The Bahá’í writings clearly guide parents to pray with children from the very start of life:
“Thou didst write as to the children: from the very beginning, the children must receive divine education and must continually be reminded to remember their God. Let the love of God pervade their inmost being, commingled with their mother’s milk.”—‘Abdu’l-Bahá
Singing and reciting prayers to infants can be very soothing to babies and parents alike. However, as those babies grow into toddlers, preschoolers, and active children, it can be more difficult for them to stay still and quiet during prayer time. Here are five tips that can help to share prayers with little ones.
Choose a Time to Pray
The first step to praying with children is, most likely, choosing a time to do so. Many families like to add a prayer to the morning and/or bedtime routine. Keep it consistent, and write down your plans, so the whole family can work together to make it happen. Of course, you can also pray together when the need arises throughout the day, but sticking to routine is key to making it a regular part of your day.
Some families also like to set a special time once a week for longer family devotions, as this allows the family to say more prayers together than the daily routine often allows. As the children grow, you can turn this time into a devotional gathering where you invite extended family and friends to join your family prayers. Sharing prayers with others can be a very memorable and meaningful experience for children as well as for those in the community.
Make the Prayer Time Age-Appropriate
Make sure your plans are appropriate for your children’s developmental stage. Although it may be possible for some, many children under the age of five cannot sit still for longer than a few minutes. You do not want to make praying unreasonably difficult, and you will want to maintain reverence, so consider the age and temperament of your child(ren) and decide on a timeframe that is reasonable for them to participate in group prayers.
The purpose of praying is, after all, for the children to be exposed to beautiful prayers and have an opportunity to learn and recite them. Therefore, the length of time spent praying is less important than the level of prayerfulness and the connection with God that the children are fostering.
It can be helpful to remember that children thrive on repetition, so you may like to choose a few prayers and/or selections you say every day. As the children learn more by heart and practice building their “prayerfulness muscles,” they will probably enjoy praying for longer.
Explain the Expectations for Prayer Time
You will likely want to patiently explain that prayer is communion with God and remind the children often that when we are praying we should behave in a way that is respectful of this aim. Drawing a picture (or sharing a photo) of what it means to be “prayerful” can help guide behavior.
You can also tell the children what is going to happen during prayer time: the number of prayers that will be said and which order the family members will say them in. This can help them envision what is going to happen and therefore become mentally prepared.
If the children are having trouble keeping their hands still, give them something to hold like a prayer book or card with a prayer written inside. Sitting on a parent’s lap often works well for younger children.
Set a Prayerful Environment
If it is necessary, be sure children wash their hands and/or faces before praying. This washing can be a symbol of purifying our hearts in order to spend time with our Creator, and can help them understand the level of reverence and respect we should have while praying.
You can create a special atmosphere for prayers, such as sitting in a circle on the carpet or setting up some cushions by a glass door so you can be next to nature. Lighting a candle can be a great symbol that prayer time has begun. In whatever space you are praying, freeing the clutter and toys so there are no distractions is helpful.
Sing Prayers Set to Music
Many families like to sing prayers together, either on their own or with accompanying music. Using music (upbeat during daylight hours, soft and slow at night) can really set the mood for praying. There are quite a few recordings available for this purpose. The Bahá’í writings say that music is “a ladder for your souls, a means whereby they may be lifted up unto the realm on high…” How wonderful to uplift our family spirit with prayers set to music!
Above all, let us remember the aim of giving our children the uplifting and soul-stirring experience of prayer: to teach them how to converse with God, receive His guidance, and feel His unconditional love. Little by little, day by day, they can sharpen their habits of prayer so that they feel comfortable praying on their own, understand they can turn to prayer in times of need, and ultimately learn to use prayer as a lifelong source of strength and joy.
“These children are even as young plants, and teaching them the prayers is as letting the rain pour down upon them, that they may wax tender and fresh, and the soft breezes of the love of God may blow over them, making them to tremble with joy.”—‘Abdu’l-Bahá
Chelsea Lee Smith is the mother of two young boys and is the author of two websites: Enable Me To Grow and Moments A Day. She and her husband have also recorded two albums of spiritual music for families. They currently live in Australia.
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Updated on 7.23.13